The Perks of Being Married

Getting married was the best thing I ever did…









for my gums.

I cannot lie to my partner when they ask if I’ve flossed. So, I floss. We ask each other. We keep each other accountable for our flossing.

Once I did lie, and I was caught, because he had used the last of the floss earlier. Busted. Also, don’t lie to your spouse. Unless it’s about a surprise party. And if it is, the theme probably should not be oral care.


Crisis and Suicide Help

If you are thinking about suicide, please ask for help. 

If someone you know is suicidal, please reach out and help them. If you feel overwhelmed or don’t know what to do, you can also call the hotline. Even if you have promised them otherwise, please get help. Tell someone.

You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a toll-free number that works in both the U.S. and Canada. Their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

You can find information on Canadian crisis centers at this link.

Please, please ask a counselor, your parents, your friends, a teacher, or a spiritual leader for help. You are loved.

Game Show Idea

It’s like Instragram meets a game show. Picture:

Announcer: “It’s time to play….”

Audience, all together: “WHAT’S ON YOUR PLATE?”

And then there`s square, poorly lit pictures of people`s food, and you have to guess what`s on their plate, using as many adjectives and hyphens as possible. 

See, sometimes I just want to tell you what I’m making for dinner, but I don’t want to be a navel-gazer. I’m bored of everyone going ON and ON about how hyper-local and grass-fed they all are. Having the energy and resources to worry so precociously about our food is a weird form of privilege. There are people who worry about ‘where did my food come from? pastures? slaughter farms? fairy labor?’ and then there are people who worry about ‘where will my food come from? the food bank? my tiny paycheck?’. Let’s try to not worry so much about our own plates, strictly, and also worry about our neighbor’s plates.

Hmmm, so this took a radical turn from where I was going. I was going to tell you about the pot roast I have in the oven, the pot roast with red onion and fennel and carrot and tomatoes and preserved lemon, to which I will add tiny potatoes.

There, I told you. Now let`s move on. Invite your neighbors over for dinner! Plant a row, grow a row. Give someone cookies. Let`s just look up, past our own plates, to the needs of others. Your love makes a world of difference to the shut-in, the hungry, the hurt, the lonely — basically, everyone. 

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’     Matthew 25 (ESV)

Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.” Matthew 15 (ESV)




So I managed to hemorrhage both of my eyeballs (and no, not from extreme flatulance, thankyouverymuch) (also, that link has pics of bleeding eyes, fyi). It’s really special and romantic, and great for making friends. Won’t you come and play with me?

I wanted to do this post before Christmas, because Christmas is when you buy THINGS for those you love. But, well, I finally got my lazy butt into gear and we mailed off our PR paperwork. On Christmas Eve.

So then, without further ado, I present: My List of Suggestions for What to Buy your Sweetheart for Valentine’s Day.

Sometimes it’s okay if your sweetheart likes to look at other men. Doctors, for example. Or actors. You should be okay with this too. May I suggest this matted and framed picture of Doctor B.J. Hunnicutt?


Sometimes your sweetheart just wants to carry fruit around without it getting squished.


Sometimes the best things in life are free. For example, I found this fabulous, perfectly functional frying pan at the dump.

Bringing home

And looks, it’s right on trend!


Nothing says “I love you” like saving money. This calender was on sale for only FORTY-FOUR CENTS! That’s right!


And finally, I should probably warn you that this last item is great for Valentine’s Day, although technically NSFW. I’ll let the fine craftsmanship speak for itself.

True love


The new header is a photo of a mural I painted at church. At the beginning of the year, we started redoing some of the rooms, and turned one unused area into a nursery and cry room. The kids really like the animals! I tried to get animals from all over the world. Can you name the countries represented?

Navy Bean, Melon, and Sweet Potato Salad — UPDATED

(UPDATE 7/19/12– The funny thing about entering a small fair is that your entry may be the only one in it’s category, meaning you win a lot of prizes.

However, there was more than just my entry in the bean salad category, and I still took first. It’s the ribbon second from right, being shy behind my mixed herb display ribbon.)

I just got back home (muggy, humid home) from entering the local Country Fair. My entries include items from my garden (herb bunches, lettuce — ran out of time to scrub beets, but boy do we have a lot of beets!) as well as some original creations.

Chocolate Coconut Curry Caramel Corn, easily adapted from Molly’s post, David Guas’ recipe.

Gardening has been really rewarding so far. I’ve never been successful (really never, not just hyperbole there) at gardening, so to have things sprout up! and blossom! and produce edibles! is wildly exhilarating. I’ll post some pictures soon. I’ve been so ashamed of my weeds, but much like body shaming, I realize I can choose to ignore the shamings of others and embrace the weeds. Or attack them with a hoe. Whatever. Either way, we’ve been up to our ears in lettuce, the beets are crazy, and everything else just needs another week or two of sunshine to start blushing ripe at me.

You may not be aware of this, but I now live in the Bean Capital of the West. This great honor means that in our local country fair, there are entire sections of bean categories. I did not have the time to make some Bean Art, or Bean Muffins, so I settled on making Bean Salad. Obviously the first thing that comes to mind is some sort of Mexican-influenced dish, or perhaps hints of Mediterranean flavors*. I wanted to go somewhere else, ethnically speaking, with my Bean offering. Recalling that the Japanese sometimes use beans in their desserts, I went slightly sweet, and used other vaguely Japanese flavors.

*try black bean, feta, and oregano, or white bean and tuna with garlicky olives.


Navy Bean, Melon, and Sweet Potato Salad

½ cup dry Navy beans

3 cups water

Bring the water and beans to a boil in a medium pot. Reduce to low, cover, and let simmer until beans are just tender, about 90 minutes. Drain and cool.

1 ½ cups diced melon (about half a melon)

1 cup diced boiled sweet potato, peeled

1 teaspoon sesame seeds, toasted

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons coconut oil or sesame oil

2 teaspoons olive oil

3 tablespoons white wine vinegar or rice wine vinegar

Soy sauce (I used Ponzu shōyu), to taste

Combine beans, melon, sweet potato, sesame seeds, and oils. Stir gently to combine. Stir in salt and vinegar.

Before serving, taste for seasonings. Add more vinegar, salt, oil, or a pinch of sugar as desired. Sprinkle with soy sauce.

That video you may have seen showing how to easily peel a potato? Works on sweet potatoes too. May not really be worth it (besides the chance to scream out “It works! Magic!” and then force your partner to come look at a sweet potato at eleven o’clock at night) for just one potato, but would be for more.

Holy Hold Times!

The good news is that I am allowed to stay in Canada longer than my visitor record (June 14th), at least until they make a decision on my extension application. The bad news is that it took three hours worth of phone calls to find that out. Also, please don’t insult my intelligence by saying you are working 29 days behind the current date, then tell me you are working on applications from April 25th. I can do math.